♥Sunday, September 07, 2008
Sunday night, the day to eat out.
On this day of the week, I'll normally dont hesitate to eat out.
But today, I really want to avoid all the big or reasonably big resturant.
The scene will be tables of family sitting around celebrating father's day.
So to avoid all these, it was a small take away jap resturant for dinner.
3 years now, and still missing you so.
TO believe that your departure is real is just too fearful.
The book "the 5 people you meet in heaven" seems to depict death as a new reborn and the return of a normal life instead of the ending of a life. Reading the book makes me feel that your departure has came alive, and your existance seems believable again. I don't want and don't realy intend to finish the book although I'm left with only a few more pages to go. The unfinished book have found a spot on the shelves and Im not willing to complete it. Im afraid completing the book will hit me back into reality again, and suddenly dawn on me that its just the author's perception of life after death and may not be applied to everyone's.
I rather leave the book aside and continue living in delusions. As I read through every chapters, i seemed to see you meeting the different people learning about your past lives, unlocking all untold truth. I wish to continue thinking that your everyday's life is as per normal, meeting people you have once seen or have crossed your life and feeling ever more satisfyed with happenings that you never knew happened in your past life.
3 years back, I wish that father's day will just vanish to shield me away.
Everyday I find and search for something I can exchange just to bring you back.
Every occassions, birthdays, christmas, holidays, new years, celebrated as usual, but if it takes to give up every happy oaccasion to have you back again, its always worth it. Because special occasions without you ain't as happy as ever.
Even if it means for me to lose and not have victory, im always willing, because without you, already meant losing everything.
How am i not suppose to wave bye to you, when from afar I can never see your waving arms again. All i probably see is a departing shawdow.
Does it take endless tears to see your face again, to feel your hug again, to receive the kisses again?
I think 3 years now, I figure out that it takes endless smiles on my face, a pink health, and harmony in the family to have you settled in my heart and for you to rest in peace, meeting people , and feeling proud about your little one on earth.
FOr you daddy, my sweetest smile you gave me. Happy father's day !
and of course to all other daddysss..
I blogged@: 10:47 PM